The Light of Eternal Agape 東京アンテオケ教会

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The Come-From-Behind Great Victory from Despair – Changed from Mourning to Thanksgiving and from Sorrow to Despair

To Those Who Have a Problem of Divorce

This post is also available in: Japanese

I married an African- American soldier in Misawa military base in 1995.  At that time I was a relatively new Christian, and I married him in spite of the opposition from the pastor, who advised me not to marry a non-Christian, telling me not to be yoked together with an unbeliever.  Just as the pastor told me, our marriage didn’t go well from its beginning.

One day, in such a marital life as this, I was given a ray of light of hope.  I found I was pregnant.  I expected that our baby might help us restore our relationship as a married couple.  However, I began to notice many suspicious actions of my husband, and discovered his having an affair in my seven-month pregnancy. 

Adultery is lawfully applied in the U.S. army, unlike Japan.  My husband who was afraid of ruining his career pressed me to divorce.  Besides, he checked into the Japanese law and learned that he wouldn’t have his wages attached without alimony payment.  So he told me that he wouldn’t pay me at all.  I now know that I could hire a lawyer to take necessary procedures but at that time I was living in Japan and didn’t know what to file against an American.  All I could do was to bear it silently.  I was deserted when I was seven-month pregnant, and couldn’t be financially supported and had to give birth to a baby alone.

I was able to deliver a baby girl without trouble.  After that I stayed at my parents’ house for about a month.  Every night I cried for the situation I was put into.  My parents were sleeping right behind a Japanese-style thick paper sliding door and I didn’t want them to worry about me; I cried by placing a towel over my mouth or covering my face with futon.

I finished a maternity leave, and retuned to work.  Soon after that I got acquainted with a lady pastor of the Lord’s Christian Center – Hirosaki Church.  I was told by her that God works everything out for our good and that I should give thanks for everything.  Just as I was told, I started to give thanks for every single thing that happened in my life: “I appreciate not having been loved by my husband;” “I appreciate having been deserted by him when I was seven-month pregnant;” and “I appreciate having to bring up a half-Japanese, half- American child.”  Then I found my stiffened heart from wounds healed up.  I was rapidly released from pain and suffering in the heart.

Six year later, a divorced husband of mine died.  I got to know that I and my daughter could receive bereaved family pension and other related money.  At the same time, I was sent to Denver by God and later appointed as a pastor of Denver Church.  The land of Denver is the hometown of the divorced husband.  Thanks to the husband who didn’t give even one penny, I was financially blessed and had one bad thing after another changed into blessings. 

Later God showed me a remarriage, and I began to pray for specific requests about the type of a person I liked.  Since I failed in the relationship with an African-American, I wholeheartedly prayed for a Japanese husband.  However, a leading in God’s plan far surpasses our thoughts and desires.  The person I was led to re-marry was unexpectedly an African-American.  The husband I remarried has been cherishing me and my daughter like a diamond.  I truly appreciate God this blessing from Him.

God is Love.